Thursday thoughts #7

May 25, 2017

I think it's time for a little update; because even though I have been writing blogposts regularly since the beginning of the year (one post per week), I feel like I haven't actually shared much lately. The truth is, these past few months have been really stressful for me and on most days, I haven't really been feeling myself.

At the end of February, I decided the time had come for me to finally change something in my life. I've constantly been going back and forth between my place and Philipp's since October last year and I somehow felt like I was rotating 24/7. My beloved home felt less like home with every weekend I spent elsewhere. Going to work became more and more of an obligation rather than something I enjoyed doing because all I actually wanted to do was spent time exploring and taking pictures. The weekdays felt endless sometimes and I caught myself always longing and waiting for the weekend.

A year ago, the work days were the days that kept me from going insane. But when I met Philipp and we started going places and doing things, I realized that there's so much more to life than just working and eating and sleeping and somehow passing time. I've had many good days at work this year, don't get me wrong. Having fun with colleagues, creating stuff, constantly evolving. But truth be told, I've had many bad days as well. Sometimes it was so busy and hectic and tense, I almost started crying because I didn't know how else to handle the pressure.

So I made plans and worked towards realizing them and at first, it felt so good. But the longer I was planning, the more time I had to think about all of my plans, and with time came doubts and fear. I was pressurized at work, pressurized in personal life. Because I felt so stressed all the time, the back pain I'd been dealing with for months got even worse and started spreading down my leg. I somehow stopped exercising after I got sick at the end of March and ever since then I've had problems getting back into my workout routine. I haven't been feeling that comfortable in my body. All in all, as I already said, the past couple of months haven't been too amazing. It's been quite the uphill struggle.

But at least it is going uphill again. Finally! In my last Thursday thoughts that I posted mid February, I promised I was going to talk about the things I wanted to change in my life. Well, and now that the frost has definitely gone and I've figured out what I'm going to change, it's time for me to share it.

Tomorrow Philipp and I are flying to Iceland. (Tomorrow! Oh, I can barely retain my excitement!! It's gonna be epic!!! I'll be sharing images on Instagram first, of course.) We're going to explore the whole country for almost three weeks and take millions of pictures and think about nothing but waterfalls and volcanoes and sheep and F roads and whales and whatnot. And after that I'll be going back home and back to work for two weeks and then it'll be July in the blink of an eye and I'll be moving and starting a new job. There I said it. I will be moving and starting a new job!

I know I've only lived in my current apartment for a year and I still absolutely love this place, but I feel like it is finally time for me to leave my hometown and start something new somewhere new. I'm sure I'll miss the city but there's just nothing left for me there really. Over the past year, I've simply grown tired of being reminded of my past every single day. I know it'll be hard saying goodbye to my colleagues and my family and friends I still have there, but I'm certain that this is best for me. Even though it will be quite the change and maybe even a bit stressful at first, I'm excited for what's to come. And of course I'll be sharing more about my journey on here!


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